I order you to play Fallout 3

You consider yourself a gamer right? This means you have played the Fallout games, right? No I'm not talking about Fallout Tactics or the crappy console game Brotherhood of Steel, these are not Fallout games. They are crappy games trying to mooch of the Fallout franchise. I am talking about Fallout 1 and Fallout 2. Finally they have gotten a worthy sequel. Due to the fact that you surf the internet all day (looking for porn) you can't have helped seeing the ads for Fallout 3. Fallout 3 is The Game this year. Your friends saying it sucks? Well, your friends suck! They're just to unintelligent to play this game.

Fallout 3 is set 270 years into the future, after the Bombs fell. The world is a barren Wasteland, and it's still full of idiots like your friends. It's your job to cleanse it! To do this you utilize different types of weapons, in three categories, energy weapons, big guns and small guns. Considering the finesse you have (you are reading this blog) you choose small guns, so you can sneak up on the idiots and take them out. But of course, just sneaking up on people and killing them off isn't enough to satisfy people like us. Besides the killing you are able to experience a huge world, with loads of unique locations, quests and decisions. And decisions will have a mayor impact on your gameplay. You are able to solve every quest in different ways, whether you choose to be evil (the obvious choice of the Master), neutral or good, and you're action will come back to haunt you. If, for instance, you choose to save a town and act all goody two shoes, well people will praise you and shout out things like "Look it's the hero of ", and give you stuff. Nauseating isn't it? Well, if you choose to be evil, people will fear you and give you their belongings while pissing their pants. You can enslave people, loot, pillage, burn and even blow up an entire town.

The main questline is quite crappy, but you don't have to do that at all (I would recommend doing it until you learn how to use power armor though). The cool thing to do is just head out in one direction and see what you run into, and suddenly you are involved in loads of interesting stuff; Idyllic towns resorting to cannibalism, child slavery (Yes, you're the enslaver), strange and creepy Tranquil Virtual Worlds, prostitution (Yes, you can get you're own sex slave), insane old men. The lot really.

So, go out to your local games store and buy this game. Preferably for the PC so you can get all the mods that are coming.

And remember, War never changes!

Why I sit when I pee

First of all: You sick fuck! You wanna know about my peeing habits? Oh well.. Here we go.

The Master drinks loads and loads of beer, henceforth he has extensive experience when it comes to peeing. The Master sits when he pees. First of all, I'm usually shitfaced. When you're shitfaced drunk it's a lot harder to actually hit the toiletbowl, and when you don't hit the toilet bowl it gets messy. When the toilet gets messy, people around you get pissed off, and you can forget about ever getting it on with your ugly girlfriend. You'll end up having to wash the toilet, which is boring and smelly (my toilet in particular).

Second of all, reading and smoking. It's much more comfortable when you sit. You can bring along a magazine, you're beer bottle and even have a cigarette when peeing. Suddenly going to the toilet isn't just something you do, you can make a night of it. If you add some dirty magazines as well, you don't have to worry about your girlfriend either.

So enjoy peeing, but remember to sit. I command you!

11 good reasons to drink beer

Update: Another good reason to drink beer, especially at Oktoberfest can be found at Gunaxin, talking about the incredibly hot babes attending
I am drunk right now, due to the drink we all love. You love it, I love it. I am talking about beer.

1. It tastes good
2. It's refreshing and cools you down
3. It's social. Drinking beer gets you new friends.
4. It's one of the few legal drugs in most countries.
5. It makes you happy. Who's depressed when they have beer?
6. Beer makes you more relaxed than hard liqour such as whisky (I do love whisky though) due to the fact that it contains hops (which is in the same family as cannabis)
7. It comes in a different variety of flavours
8. Two to three pints a day reduces the risk of getting heart dieseases
9. Again, it tastes very very nive

10. ..and most important of all. It gets you drunk.

This blog is better than your blog

I'm a no good, unemployed, uneducated, pornsurfing lazy know-it-all drunk with no friends and no life whatsoever. On top of this I suffer from various mental ailments, hemorrhoids and bad taste (at the moment I am watching "Bring It On.......3, and enjoying myself). This qualifies me as an incredible writer, an authority on politics, celebrities, pharmaceuticals, the media, comedy, film, music, lifestyle, fashion (I own three pair of pants and loads of t-shirts), gaming, technology and general bullshit. Henceforth, you should listen to me and follow my advice blindly. I'm right, you're not. If you disagree. Well, then you can go fuck yourself with a broom. Yes a broom, not talking about the broomstick, but the actual broom. You know, the "furry" part.

This is really the only blog you need to bookmark, the other ones are just full of crap. Again, I'm right, you're not.

This blog already contain loads of shitty posts in a foreign language you're not able to understand. The reason? Well, this blog's already got a pagerank and Alexa ranking, and I'm to lazy to delete any of the old posts. Also, some of those posts are making me money and traffic. Since I'm Norwegian and booze is expensive, I need all the money I can get. Actually, you should send me some. I can put them to better use than you. Just click the button below and send me the money, loads of it. If you do, I promise I won't come to your house and make you smell my armpits. And you really don't want that.

If you suck and haven't got a paypal account, this is the time to sign up.

If you've read this far (of course you have) you want to subscribe through RSS. If you don't know what RSS is (fucking google it) you can just stop reading this blog at once, you're not welcome. Worst case scenario I'll consider letting you bookmark it, if you ask first.

Mobilsøk 1881 med morsom reklamefilm

En wannabe eiendeomsmegler, en utrolig lat snekker og en nyinnflyttet politisk rådgiver "goes about their day" i 1881 Mobilsøk sin nye humoristiske reklamefilm. Selvfølgelig benytter de seg av nevnte tjeneste, men samtidig er de relativt morsomme og patetiske. Alle tre rollene blir spillt av samme skuespiller, Nikis Theophilakis, som de fleste har sett på forskjellige humorpogrammer på tv.
Filmene kan du se her:www.mobil1881.no


Stem på Bloggrevyen

The Master makes a musicvideo

The Master makes an incredible music video.

I'll admit I'm not Slash in regards to the guitar, but my singing is (of course) immensly beautiful. The Equipment used for this awesomeness is pictured below.
So, with some spartan equipment(l Eyetoy webcam, and a crappy microphone), the brilliance was created.
Below you can experience the awesomeness.

I'm better than you Magi

Magibon has become an inredibly dumb internetphenomenon. She stares blankly into the camera, doing nothing. By all means, she is cute, but I am cuter.

The Original: