Why I sit when I pee

First of all: You sick fuck! You wanna know about my peeing habits? Oh well.. Here we go.

The Master drinks loads and loads of beer, henceforth he has extensive experience when it comes to peeing. The Master sits when he pees. First of all, I'm usually shitfaced. When you're shitfaced drunk it's a lot harder to actually hit the toiletbowl, and when you don't hit the toilet bowl it gets messy. When the toilet gets messy, people around you get pissed off, and you can forget about ever getting it on with your ugly girlfriend. You'll end up having to wash the toilet, which is boring and smelly (my toilet in particular).

Second of all, reading and smoking. It's much more comfortable when you sit. You can bring along a magazine, you're beer bottle and even have a cigarette when peeing. Suddenly going to the toilet isn't just something you do, you can make a night of it. If you add some dirty magazines as well, you don't have to worry about your girlfriend either.

So enjoy peeing, but remember to sit. I command you!

11 good reasons to drink beer

Update: Another good reason to drink beer, especially at Oktoberfest can be found at Gunaxin, talking about the incredibly hot babes attending
I am drunk right now, due to the drink we all love. You love it, I love it. I am talking about beer.

1. It tastes good
2. It's refreshing and cools you down
3. It's social. Drinking beer gets you new friends.
4. It's one of the few legal drugs in most countries.
5. It makes you happy. Who's depressed when they have beer?
6. Beer makes you more relaxed than hard liqour such as whisky (I do love whisky though) due to the fact that it contains hops (which is in the same family as cannabis)
7. It comes in a different variety of flavours
8. Two to three pints a day reduces the risk of getting heart dieseases
9. Again, it tastes very very nive

10. ..and most important of all. It gets you drunk.